More on Purity

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. (Matthew 5:8)

This weekend, I was fortunate to see a documentary that I think every parent and teen needs to see. It is called "Virgin Tales" and was shown on Showtime. I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts on this. The documentary follows a family in Colorado Springs. The father and mother are totally involved in their children's lives from a spiritual standpoint. They love and teach them in ways that made me uncomfortable. Why? I have spent some time analyzing what it was that bothered me and have landed on these thoughts...

A little background first... the daughters in this family have decided to remain virgins until marriage and even withhold their first kiss until the "I dos" are said. The sons have taken the same vow. The family has many "ceremonies" that they keep to mark significant times of maturity in the lives of their children. To a non-religious person, I would imagine that this little film offers much to be concerned about. (check out the website associated with this documentary for some comments - http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/virgin-daughters/) But for the Christian parent that takes their role seriously, this film will offer opportunities for some serious thought and reflection.

Ok, on to my reactions... First, I think watching these people make right choices made me feel badly about some of my choices that I made as a teenager and as a parent. I already had many regrets for the way I treated young ladies and have sought to give apologies and seek forgiveness for my actions when the opportunity presented itself. So, seeing young ladies and gentlemen choose to learn about love and trust and withhold fulfilling their desires made me regret that I had not done a better job myself. Secondly, seeing the parents so actively involved in their children's lives, made me think of things that I wish I had done a better job of. So, when I boiled down my uncomfortable feelings, most had to do with guilt that I felt and regrets that I had.

If I am to be completely honest, I found much to commend this family for and wondered what our nation would be like if more parents took the responsibility to form the lives of their children more seriously. One scene in particular stands out in my mind... the youngest son decides that he wants to "bless" his family and speaks to his sisters about what they mean to him and then he tells his father that he is his hero and then turns to his mother and with tears in his eyes (and mine) how much he loves her and thanks them for pouring their love into his life. I am telling you that if you can watch that and not consider the mistakes you have made as a parent, you are being intellectually dishonest!

Sure, some of it made me uncomfortable. I am still considering whether that is my problem or theirs. The dancing around the cross at the Purity Ball made me cringe. Watching the older daughter wrestle with the fact that she had passed the age of her sisters when they were married, yet God had not brought her man into her life. Hearing the youngest son tell his older brother that he had decided to go to West Point so that he could see his enemy eye to eye, all made me squirm a little. But at least they were making conscious decisions and considering the consequences of their choices. 

If you have an opportunity to watch this little thought provoking film, let me know how it impacts you. I am sure there will be some discomfort, but think about what it is that is causing that feeling. If all we ever encounter are things that we agree with, there will be no growth and maybe some arrogance. Like me, I am sure you want your children to have happy, healthy relationships and lives that honor their Maker. The question is... what are we doing to help that become real? I know I missed many opportunities and have regrets to deal with. Bring on the thoughts....